LOVING: A Shepherd should smell like his sheep

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What is love? The little boy thought for a second or two and then blurted out: “Oh, Oh I know. It’s when two people get together and start smelling each other.”

The little boy may be on to something. At least according to Pope Francis and a four-star Admiral in the United States Navy. They both echo each other’s thought that ” a shepherd should smell like his sheep.”

Retired Admiral William H. McRaven’s smell to be well insight –that you have to stay up close and personal with your staff in particular and employees in general –is one his 18 ideas on effective leadership in his book The Wisdom of the Bullfrog. Admiral McRaven explains:

“If you lose touch with the men and women who work for you, if you can’t relate to them because you spend too much time in the office and not enough time on the factory floor, if you don’t “smell” like the people you are sworn to protect and lead, then you will be poor leader who makes bad decisions.”

Retired Admiral McRaven, then the commander of all special operations forces, earned his Bullfrog monicker as the longest serving frogman and Navy seal still on duty. Yet, in teaching all of us another lesson on leadership as always a work in progress no matter how high you climb, Retired Admiral McRaven noted:

“The day you no longer believe you have something to prove, the day you no longer believe you must give it your all, the day you think you are entitled to special treatment, the day you think all your hard day’s are behind you, is the day you are no longer the right leader for the job.”

After all, the most effective leader knows the nose knows what’s really happening.

For more ideas on relating and engaging with your staff, pick up a copy of LOVING Like a Leader, a Leadership Mints Series Book featuring 77 Leadership Mints — bite-sized ideas to freshen your feeling for leading available on Amazon.com.

LOVING Like a Leader, With Empathy — the second book in the Leadership Mints Series –develops your emotional intelligence to better listen and relate to others with compassion, connection and conviction. Readers savor 77 Leadership Mints, bite-sized ideas that like a candy mint are quickly accessed and immediately refreshing your feeling for leading.

Get Your Copy of LOVING Like a Leader

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Loving: Making Others Feel Important

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News anchor Jose Diaz Balart concludes his program on MSNBC-TV every day with a dose of gratitude that leaves his audience feeling valued and validated, saying:

Thank you for the
PRIVILEGE of your time.

Jose Diaz Balart, MSNBC-TV

The dictionary says the word Privilege stems from the Latin privilegium which means the law as it applies to one person.”

So in effect Mr. Diaz Balart thinks of his audience as comprised for individuals who personally afford him their personal attention to tune in to his news program.

In the process, Mr. Diaz execises a key leadership skill : personally connecting to each person in his audience. In fact Army 4-star General Norm Schwarzkopf noted the discerning behavior of leaders who can see each tree in the forest. General Schwarzkopf said:

“I have seen competent leaders who stood in front of a platoon and all they saw was a platoon. But great leaders stand in front of a platoon and see it as 44 individuals, EACH of whom has aspirations, EACH of whom wants to live, EACH of whom wants to do good.”

And each of whom needs to be treated PERSONALLY with dignity and respect. That’s why the most influential leaders, in treating others individually, are more apt to reward their employees SPECIFICALLY not simply award them generally. They realize the difference between actively rewarding individuals for their effort (thank you for the privilege of your time and effort) and passively awarding (thanks for watching this news program as Mr. Diaz could have said.)

Awards are presented.
Rewards are earned.

Awards honor past performance.
Rewards incent future performance.

Awards are event focused.
Rewards are individually focused.

Award shows always reflect as much on the awarder as on the awardee. (Think Oscars). But in rewarding another for specific effort and productive achievement, the spotlight is only on the person being rewarded. Personally. With an implied sense of appreciation and a heart-felt thank you for the privilege of their time working on this specific project.

The leadership lesson is clear. Focus on your employees as individuals. Reward them with your dignity and respect. And cherish the PRIVILEGE of having each of them on your team. For more ideas on rewarding vs. awarding your employees, pick up a copy of LOVING Like a Leader, a Leadership Mints Series book

Develops your emotional intelligence to better listen and relate to others with compassion, connection and conviction.

Get Your Copy of LOVING Like a Leader

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What’s Your USP –Your Unique Selling Point?

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How can you step up to lead if you don’t have a platform to stand on?

You are not the Chief Executive Officer of a large company.

You are not a guru on social media liked by millions.

You’re not a TikTok celebrity with an inherent band of followers.

And you’re not a well-connected pillar of the community in civic, business and non profit organizations.

So instead of a platform to stand on, you build your own three-legged stool to step up and reach out to your potential audience with a compelling proposition that meets and exceeds their needs, interests and concerns and affirms your commitment to provide sustaining value.

For example, I have no platform to stand on as independent publisher. Oh, sure I have a title as the president of The Leadership Mints Publishing Company. But that title and $5 just might buy you a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop. I am just like most of you: just a guy with an idea to help other people enhance the quality of their lives.

So how can I effectively ask you to invest your hard earned money into buying books in The Leadership Mints Series especially when you consider there are over two million other leadership books on Amazon.com?

In lieu of a platform, I have to make sure I build my stool on three sturdy legs with integrity in the materials and authenticity in the finished product that is functionally viable, relevantly usable and geared to sustain value over time.

To help you develop the legs on your own sturdy value proposition stool, click on the following three legs in my value proposition stool (cited in earlier posts to this blog) on the value to you -the reader– in investing in one of the 3 Leadership Mints Series books.

To savor the Leadership Mints Book of your choice click here:

LOVING Like a Leader, With Empathy

SPEAKING Like a Leader, With Civility

THINKING Like a Leader, With Clarity

Tailoring Your Message To Fit The Audience

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Tailoring your message to fit the interests of the audience took on new meaning when singing sensation Taylor Swift performed in Tampa recently.

School superintendent Addison Davis “Taylor-ed” his message to his students : no skipping school because they were up too late attending a Taylor Swift concert on a school night.

The empathetic leader realized his preaching would have fallen on deaf ears. So he adapted. He couched his message in Taylor Swift song titles his audience not only knew but appreciated.

In an e-mail to all students, Mr. Davis first sought to gain the favor of his audience to at least hear him out:

“There’s a DELICATE situation we must discuss. Are you READY FOR IT?

“THIS IS ME TRYING to be the best Superintendent I can be without creating any BAD BLOOD between myself and our amazing students.”

Then Mr. Davis launches his teaching point. He is careful to compliment Taylor Swift as a performer and acknowledge the significance of her concert while still delivering his key message: don’t skip school.

Don’t Skip School

“Students YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. Under no circumstances will Friday be an excused absence because you were having an ENCHANTED evening under the STARLIGHT.“

Then Mr. Davis demonstrates his emotional intelligence and self-awareness to step away from his bully pulpit with a softening tone to keep his audience from shutting him out. He acknowledges what those students might be thinking of this authority figure raining on their parade to a Taylor Swift concert.

“I understand I am the ANTI-HERO here, and CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT but YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN KID if you think being a Swiftie is a good excuse for missing important instruction. You know ALL TOO WELL you SHOULD’VE SAID NO to attending a Thursday night concert. Especially one from an artist who is known for putting on a 3-hour amazing show.”

Then Mr. Davis climbs up on his bully pulpit and gives his audience a reality check:

It could be a CRUEL SUMMER if you prioritize being a Swiftie over being in class. YOU BELONG WITH ME, ME! in school. Please don’t make me see RED with your absence.”

“You may think you’re OUT OF THE WOODS since it is the fourth quarter, but make no mistake, if you miss an important lesson, you will not be able to SHAKE IT OFF. Your report card could be TREACHEROUS because you refused to STAY, STAY, STAY in class. I know, I know YOU’RE NOT SORRY for attending such a GORGEOUS concert but I promise you, this is not a HOAX.

To develop your skill in tailoring your message to fit the interests and concerns of the audience get your copy of SPEAKING Like a Leader, With Civility & Featuring 52 more Leadership Mints. The third book in the Leadership Mints Series develops your ability to gain greater shared understanding and collaborative decision making through credible two-way communications especially in adversarial situations.

Readers develop their credibility, capability and memorability to gain greater understanding and speak with greater civility.

Get Your Copy of SPEAKING Like a Leader

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Pause For the Cause In a Heated Argument

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You are an elected official, a representative in your state legislature. During a debate on a critical issue, your colleague scolds you in an angry tone for seeking attention and not following the rules,

How would you respond to that kind of scathing ad hominem attack in a public forum that questions your integrity and character?

Chances are you would impulsively fight fire with fire. You’d feel obligated to defend your integrity and your character with emotionally-tinged vocal tirade to set the record straight.

Yet Justin J. Pearson (D- Memphis), a state representative in the Tennessee state legislature, did the exact opposite. He responded with a pregnant pause: Six seconds of silence while the words of his opponent still seemed to sizzle with a flair of acrimony in the air,

Then without malice in his voice or anger in his face, Rep. Pearson calmly posed a question in a soft voice to the general audience rather than a respond directly to his colleague.

With poise and professionalism, he posed the question slowly and methodically in stark contrast to the blistering diatribe that assaulted his ears just moments before.

“How many/ of you/ would want/ to be/ spoken to that way?

And then he repeated the question even more thoughtfully and softly. How many/ of you/ would want/ to be/ spoken to that way? Then he clarified the issue at hand: a discussion on gun control legislation rather that a personal attack berating the colleague for seeking attention and breaking the rules of the legislature. Rep. Pearson then explored the genesis of the ad hominem attack.

“The reason I believe the sponsor of this legislation is comfortable is because there is a decorum that allows it, that allows you to belittle people. We didn’t belittle anyone.”

Rep. Pearson proved that periodic pauses pack a punch. Six second pauses feel a lot longer than they really are, but listeners use that time to more fully digest the food for thought you just served to them.

The pregnant pause fills the listeners with anticipation that makes your message even more provocative, even more commanding and even more intriguing. 

Silence is a requisite of speaking just as exhaling is a requisite of breathing.

Without the pause, the sounds of words become only a cacophony of noise. Without exhaling, you cannot inhale. No wonder Oliver Wendell Holmes once observed: “Talking is like playing the harp. There is as much laying the hands on the strings to stop the vibrations as in twanging them to make the music.”

With a pregnant pause you as the speaker tune in more directly into your thoughts, into your emotions and into your ideas. The ensuing silence seems paradoxically to amplify your thoughts so fully that your speech seemingly oozes out of your being with greater meaning and enhanced memorability.

To develop your skill in conducting a pregnant pause to cool a heated debate and gain more control over persuading others of your point of view, get your copy of SPEAKING Like a Leader, With Civility & Featuring 52 more Leadership Mints.

The third book in the Leadership Mints Series develops your ability to gain greater shared understanding and collaborative decision making through credible two-way communications especially in adversarial situations.

Readers develop their credibility, capability and memorability to gain greater understanding and speak with greater civility.

Get Your Copy of SPEAKING Like a Leader

Click Here

WHAT IS A LEADERSHIP MINT?

Consumed like a breath mint — quick and on-the-go — a Leadership Mint is a bite-sized idea that energizes leadership behaviors and personalizes leadership principles so they are more easily remembered, more readily acted upon and more fully applied.