Tag Archives: Emotional Intelligence

Persuading vs. Convincing: Playing To Your Strengths

Patrick Henry’s stirring call to action — “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” speech on March 23, 1775 still resonates with history buffs 248 years later.

Imagine if you had a seat in St. John’s Church in Richmond, VA on that Thursday afternoon and you personally experienced that goose-bump, misty-eyed sensation as an impassioned Patrick Henry concluded his speech like a conductor with a dramatic crescendo. And imagine the resolute sense of commitment surging through the veins of his audience during the second Virginia Convention, a surging sense of purpose and principal that prefaced the American Revolution and spawned the birth of the United States of America 16 months later on July 4, 1776.

Fortunately, historians like Joseph J. Ellis have attempted to capture the dynamic scene. Writing in his book American Creation, Mr. Ellis describes Patrick Henry as tall and animated with the “appearance of an actor on stage and an evangelical minister at the pulpit.” His Adonis like 6-feet 2-inch body imbued his words with an inspirational punch.

But what if you are NOT that flamboyant, NOT that energetic, NOT that inspirational, can you still earn the confidence of others in your ideas?

What if you are the diametrically opposite of the tall and affable and loquacious Patrick Henry.

What if you are short, reserved and taciturn by nature. What if you are a 5-foot -4 inches tall –not 6 feet 2?

What if your voice is so barely audible that the stenographer asks you to speak up. And what if you routinely hold a hat in one hand as you are speaking and sabotage your ability to gesture and energize the audience with your body language?

Meet James Madison who would become the Father of the Constitution and the fourth president of the United States. He stood 5-feet-4. His voice was barley audible. His personality more reserved. His lifestyle so very different. In fact, Mr. Madison married for the first and only time at 43 not at 18 like Mr. Henry. And Mr. Madison never had children of his own. Meanwhile Mr. Henry fathered 17 children in two marriages.

And now you are debating the more flamboyant Patrick Henry on federalist vs. state’s rights.

Could you persuade with the zeal of a Patrick Henry who would become the Commonwealth of Virginia’s first governor?

Or rather would you play to your strength and convince others with your well-reasoned, evidence-based argument?

Play To Your Strengths

What if you leveraged your hat as a filing cabinet of sorts for your notes that you regularly consulted in real time to rebut point by point as Madison did “without flourish or affectation”,” writes historian Ellis, “and in a sense more impressive because of their austerity.”

In speaking like a leader, you play to your strengths. Some persuade. Others convince. Indeed, John Marshall,the Chief Justice of the United States, summed up the diversity of leaders, saying : “Mr. Henry had without doubt the greatest power to persuade while Mr. Madison had the greatest power to convince.”

For more tips and techniques to develop your strengths in persuading or convincing, have a mint — a leadership mint and refresh your feeling for leading. Savor 64 individually wrapped Leadership Mints for you in SPEAKING Like a Leader, With Civility, a Leadership Mints Series Book.

SPEAKING Like a Leader, With Civility — the third book in the Leadership Mints Series — develops your ability to gain greater shared understanding and collaborative decision-making through credible two-way communications especially in adversarial situations. The 298-page book is comprised of 52 Leadership Mints –short stories that leadership principles that like a candy mint are quickly savored and immediately rejuvenating to refresh your feeling for leading.

Get Your Copy of Speaking Like a Leader

WHAT IS
A LEADERSHIP MINT?

Consumed like a breath mint — quick and on-the-go– a Leadership Mint is a bite-sized idea, thought or story illustrating a key leadership principle to refresh your feeling for leading and reinvigorate your capability to reinforce your continuous performance improvement with initiatives that are readily remembered, applied and acted on. Like its candy counterpart, a Leadership Mint is easily accessed, quickly savored (average reading time 5 minutes or less) and immediately rejuvenating,

Anticipating The Counter Argument

Ah! Ah! Ah! Don’t touch that dial! That’s what Dagwood Bumstead, would say BEFORE the start of a weekly television program (circa 1957) long before the dawn of the TV remote.

The cartoon character spawned from the pen of Chic Young in 1930 and still popular today in the comic strip BLONDIE, wanted to keep the audience engaged to share in his fun antics —and maybe even share in one of his famous Dagwood Sandwiches stacked 6-8 inches high with a bit of everything from a variety of cold cuts and cheeses to extra slices of bread topped with more cold cuts and cheeses.

Dagwood’s preemptive chant (Ah, Ah Don’t touch that dial!) is an example of how the most effective leaders anticipate the expected negative behavior of others so that they can more readily frame their message or point of view for greater acceptance and adoption.

Imagine that you are a leader in the field of nutrition –unlike Dagwood Bumstead — and you are trying to persuade The Dagwood Bumsteads of the world that it’s better to carefully cook your own food rather than perfunctorily toss a stack of cold cuts between two pieces of bread and call it a meal. Now that’s a heavy lift, especially for those used to lifting a supersized Dagwood Sandwich.

In fact, asking the Dagwood Bumsteads of the world to cook would be like trying to sell a pants presser in a nudist colony. No wonder if you ask the Dagwood Bumsteads of the world what they are making for dinner that night they’ll readily quip: “Reservations.”

However leaders, without reservation, exercise their emotional intelligence, begin building a bridge of understanding between the grab and go finger food folks and the foodies who savor the spoon stirring and slowly simmering aspects of food preparation.

Notice how the authors of the book What To Eat and When –Michael F. Roizen M.D. and Michael Crupain–anticipate that backlash of the Dagwood Bumsteads of the world to their message that preparing your own food is key to your nutritional health.

Now if you are thinking about ripping this chapter out of the book and burning it because you (fill in the blank with) can’t, hate to, don’t want to or don’t have the time to cook, hang with us. It’s actually easier, cheaper, more delicious and more efficient to cook than to pick up takeout or dine out.

For more tips and techniques to anticipate and counter expected negative reaction to your proposal or idea, consider refreshing your feeling for leading. Have a mint — a leadership mint. Savor 64 Leadership Mints individually wrapped for you in SPEAKING Like a Leader, With Civility, a Leadership Mints Series Book.

Get Your Copy of Speaking Like a Leader

WHAT IS
A LEADERSHIP MINT?

Consumed like a breath mint — quick and on-the-go– a Leadership Mint is a bite-sized idea, thought or story illustrating a key leadership principle to refresh your feeling for leading and reinvigorate your capability to reinforce your continuous performance improvement with initiatives that are readily remembered, applied and acted on. Like its candy counterpart, a Leadership Mint is easily accessed, quickly savored (average reading time 5 minutes or less) and immediately rejuvenating,

Containing Your Power Out of Respect

By Peter Jeff
The Leadership Mints Guy

Here’s an idea on values-based decision-making. Reading time: 2:59

      The architect proudly illustrated his design for a new manufacturing plant. Executives nodded approvingly.

      ARCHITECTUREThen the CEO noticed that the layout of the manufacturing plant placed the loudest machines adjacent to a residential street.

      In an instant he made decision to scrap this layout in favor of a new design that inverted the plant layout, placing the other end of the plant (a quieter shipping area) adjacent to the neighbors.

      “That’ll cost us $150,000 to redo this plan,” objected the plant manager. The CEO didn’t flinch at the financial loss.” He was too focused on “treating those people who live on that street the way I would want to be treated if I lived there.”

      The CEO’s demonstration of his emotional intelligence taught his executives Continue reading

Fatherhood: Jack Nicklaus Tees Up a Winner

By Peter Jeff
The Leadership Mints Guy

Here’s an idea on getting in touch with your humanity. Reading time: 6:11

            You may know Jack Nicklaus – the famed Golden Bear– as the greatest professional golfer of all time.

Jack Nicklaus in 1978

Jack Nicklaus in 1978

       But I got to know a very personal side of Jack Nicklaus –light years away from the golf course.

       And in the process he taught me a lesson in personal leadership that I never forgot:  Get in touch with your feelings –especially off the job– so that you can better focus your performance on the job.

Peter Jeff interviews Jack Nicklaus in Juy 1973

         It was 1973 and at 33 Jack Nicklaus was at the top of his game.

        The Golden Bear so dominated the professional golf world that three weeks later he would break Bobby Jones’ 43-year record for winning the most major golf championships. That’s a record Nicklaus still holds today 40 years later, a record that Tiger Woods still needs five majors to break.

          Back then,  I was a newspaper reporter for The Miami Herald in Florida. I worked out of the newspaper’s West Palm Beach, just 9 miles from Jack Nicklaus’ home in North Palm Beach.

 I Balked

        On Tuesday afternoon, July 24, 1973 The Miami Herald got a news tip from Good Samaritan Medical Center in West Palm Beach that Jack Nicklaus would be visiting the nursery ward to see his fifth born child (Michael) for the first time.

        My editor assigned me to interview Jack Nicklaus at the hospital. I balked.  Continue reading